If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
