Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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