if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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