We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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