I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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