so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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