Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
