i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
