Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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