I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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