Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
