i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
