Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I love you. Go after that dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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