I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
