She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
