i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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