She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
