I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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