thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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