does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
