Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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