he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
