I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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