shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
