she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
