I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
