I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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