OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
