so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
