I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize