I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
