Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
