Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He has the fingertips of a God
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