she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
