What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
