Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
