Redeem this text for a blowjob
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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