it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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