The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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