She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
