Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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