i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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