Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
