Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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