I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
