I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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