I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
