A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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