one might say we're banned from that church
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
