puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
