To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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